Sunday, July 30, 2006
okay yet another day in school where that's a maths test, argh... i just hope i'm prepared... oh well i shall not panick over that now cos i believe i'm prepared, i hope... anyway, yesterday i played the piano for church service and it was sort of a disaster cos i think this time we kinda screwed things up la but i guess maybe God just wants this to be an experience for us... oh well.. yesterday i cried during church because i tot i played really bad so yea...i just hope that i'll do better this week even though i have only 2 days to practice before i go for the practice... yikes!!! oh well... i guess i just have to chiong lor... haiz... life's such a rush.... i'm just glad to have great friends and family around me (:
oh yea, I GOT THE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SOUNDTRACK!!!! it totally rocks man (: whee... and they have the karoake version also and poster of troy and gabriella with their signature!!!! my gosh it so rocks okay (: hahahahaha okay since i have the soundtrack, i shall share another song (: WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR (:
It's hard to believe
That I couldn't see
You were always there beside me
Thought I was alone
With no one to hold
But you were always right beside me
This feelings like no other
I want you to know
I've never had someone
that knows me like you do
the way you do
I've never had somone
as good for me as you
no one like you
so lonely before i finally found
what i've been looking for
So good to be seen
So good to be heard
Don't have to say a word
For so long I was lost
So good to be found
I'm loving having you around
This feeling's like no other
I want you to know
I've never had someone that knows me like you do
The way you do
I've never had someone as good for me as you
No one like you
So lonely before, I finally found what I've been looking for
there you go (: God bless (: have a nice day (:
6:03 PM
danced' vibrant
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
i've had enough.
I dont want to care.
what you are doing hurts us further.
5:18 PM
danced' vibrant
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
sigh i'm feeling so uber bored... cos now we're waiting for lang arts to start and i'm sitting here rotting away and jx is next to me saying that he is freaking bored... yes oh well just like me cos i have nothing to do right now... argh...yesterday we had napfa and argh it makes me pissed just thinking about it...
we went through that 5 items yesterday... and sadly the only thing i got A in is shuttle run.. sigh... and the rest i got C but my incline sucks so i dun exactly know what will happen... but i shall share my pissifying experience with the teacher who did not allow me to do one more time for sit and reach... argh... everybody is SUPPOSED to have 2 tries but due to lack of time, she said okay everybody gets only one chance okay so since i was register no. 4 i din exactly have much time to stretch and i got 38cm, which is a C and lousy... anyway then after that i went one side to stretch and tried again on another of those sitnreach things on my own and i got 46cm... it's a difference of 8cm and it's an A but the teacher was so... argh nvm but she was unwilling to just look when i do... she was just like okay i'm only going to let one person to redo and that was vivian and i din get the chance no matter how much i begged her and it was so irritating cos i could have gotten an A... argh oh well nvm as long as i pass i dun exactly care anymore (: okay now i got to go for lang arts (: and my com is running out of batt ):
6:09 PM
danced' vibrant
Monday, July 24, 2006
why cant we believe you anymore?! well i'll tell you why, it's cos you have betrayed our trust for [ ] years and now you expect us to just accept your sorry and trust you again and everything is supposed to return to the way it has always been? no that is not going to happen. Being a christian, yes i have forgiven you but you cannnot expect our relationship to return the way it has always been. it wont be the same anymore. i can forgive you but i cannot forget what you have done. maybe i can but it is going to take time.
what exactly do you want to talk through? we already know everything we want to know. everything that is the truth. there's nothing to talk about anymore. i dont see the point in talking. and yea you were really snobbish in your post and come on, calling us [ ]? apparently your unreasonable anger has just cost you our relationship. you know you have lied to us about so many things and i know you can change but it's a little too late. how long have we been friends huh? that trust that lasted for so long vanished the moment we found out the truth. even that SLIGHTEST BIT of trust vanished. yes saying sorry wont cure that hurt that you have given us and it wont end nicely. how do you even expect it to end nicely huh? our relationship, our friendship has already ended. maybe it can be revived, but it'll take time. of course you wont be afraid to tell us whatever we want to know now, because we already know the truth and we dont need to know more. but you need time? how long has it been? you had so much time to tell us the truth, so much time before we found out the truth and you werent even planning on telling us. you had your chance. you ahd so much time. you wasted it all. did you think that the truth would never be found out? well you're wrong.
and you need to stop thinking of yourself only. think about others. it's not solely about what you do, you know. even if you are trying your best to save this friendship, you have to think about how we feel. having kept in the dark for so long huh? you think we can just let it go? and all those things you said in your blog about us. you think we can just forget all that and be good friends again? well you're wrong again. you have no idea what we're going through. you should learn to put yourself in others' shoes and try to know how we're feeling. you think it's so easy to just "oh let's talk it over and after that, we'll be good friends again"? you have got the total wrong idea about friendship and the trust that is supposed to be between friends, let alone good friends.
2:56 AM
danced' vibrant
Sunday, July 23, 2006
well... what a big change in your attitude towards us huh... just in your last post you were calling us [ ] and now you're willing tell us everything we want to know? well just to let you know, we already know everything we NEED to know... oh and next time please check the FACTS first... we know what we heard was the TRUTH and not RUMOURS... so before you blame others amd think that YOU are the victim, please find out what is true and what's not... and now you regret what you did? i really dont think that saying sorry would be enough to mend this relationship, maybe this relationship wasnt even real in the first place... after all, you [ ] to us all along and you cant expect us to just trust you again so easily... [ ] years you know... it's not a short time and you werent even planning on telling us? true friends dont do that to each other, they tell each other stuff, stuff that is the truth... not stuff that you lie to them about and feel bad about it after that... to think we actually treated you like a good friend and trusted you so much for so many years and you think you're the victim? come on man, think about it... who gets hurt when you find out the truth after so many years huh? the truth that no one has told you for so long... the truth that was hidden from you all along... and we were the last ones to know, your "so-called good friends", who you din exactly treat that way, we were the last to know... seriously, i dont think you know the meaning of having true friends... you blame us for everything that we are doing but do you ever know why we are doing it? you make it seem like everything is our fault when you started it first... we have our reasons for doing what we are doing, we dont do it just because we feel like it... if you think of us this way, you dont really know us well... in fact you dont know us at all... you make yourself sound like the victim when you're not... you're in no position to feel angry at all... we're the ones who got hurt so stop acting like you're the victim... well, i guess you really arent such a good friend after all... and just by saying sorry wont earn this relationship back...
7:07 AM
danced' vibrant
Thursday, July 20, 2006
okay i know i have been blogging quite frequently for the past few days but i cant help it cos sometimes there's really not much to do during class and the only thing i can think of to do is probably blog... hahaha anyway i think for this entry i shall just share a song (: here you go, the potter's hand (: Jesus reigns on high!!!
Beautiful Lord
Wonderful Saviour
I know for sure
all of my days are held in your hands
created into your perfect plan
You gently call me
into your presence
guiding me by
your Holy Spirit
teach me dear Lord
to live all of my life
through your eyes
I'm captured by your Holy calling
set me apart
I know you're drawing me to yourself
lead me Lord i pray
Take me
Mould me
Use me
Fill me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Hold me
Guide me
Lead me
Walk beside me
I give my life to the Potter's hand
Have faith in Him and may He mould, lead and guide us into the plan He has for us... God bless!! (:
6:23 AM
danced' vibrant
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
okay i know i got stabbed a long time ago but yea now that i'm kinda bored and have nothing much to talk about except my painful experience during my dental appointment yesterday... haha oh well... okay later it'll be my turn to stab others... wahahaha...
The rules: Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.
I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. [i have got to change that]
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. [I THINK...]
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart. (how i wish...)
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now. [DESPERATELY!!!]
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas. [i'm underaged!!! haha...]
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way i look. [i'm okay with it la...]
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends. [i think i do...]
I am currently single. [and loving it (:]
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop. [but it makes me broke ):]
Enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat. (not really, i need food to survive too... hee)
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. [cant do without it (:]
I believe in God. [i dance only for Him!!!]
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future. (i have NO IDEA...)
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything. (i wish...)
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. [parents??? church people???]
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends. [they are my BEST FRIENDS!!!]
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. [yum... i'm hungry]
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
I study for tests most of the time. [when there are tests that is...]
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. [i wish i was good in piano... i'm lousy at it now ):]
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies. [depends]
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages. [i'm getting hungrier...]
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours. [depends on how BRIGHT!!!]
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. [UH-HUH!!!]
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither. [i know imran can... hahaha]
I have ridden/owned a horse. [ridden... not owned...]
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk(swear) in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie. (i love coffee!!! starbucks!!!)
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. [my friends!!!]
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
okay now it's my turn to stab people... wahaha...
YOU'VE BEEN STABBED: shiao, welwie, vivian, low, rongqi (:
7:15 PM
danced' vibrant
Monday, July 17, 2006
oh well, since everybody has been blogging about this, i think i should too... haha okay so yesterday was the weirdest and most bizarre day of my life in tj (so far...) and this suspension thing involves the whole level and we were basically treated like prisoners or rather even worse than that cos we dint even have the freedom to go to the toilet on our own... sigh...
okay i shall start from the beginning when during assembly.... the long awaited words: all ta1 students, please proceed to the auditorium immediately after assembly... yep so that was the start of it and we went to the auditorium where they collected our handphones and made us turn them off... so we lost contaact with the rest of the world... and then the atmosphere being so tense, everybody just shut their mouths and waited for mrs loke to come and give her speech about this mass cheating thing from term 3 common tests. so obviously we just listened and waited and listened and waited and yea until she finished and they gave us this form thing to fill in which was supposed to let us confess if we cheated during the tests and handed it in
and guess what, we were ISOLATED in our homerooms where our CTs talked to us and many others teachers were keeping an eye on us to make sure that we dun talk and it was rather like taking an exam cos you couldnt talk and couldnt have any other papers on your table except for the form that our CT gave us yet again in our homerooms. sigh... oh well anyway, while we were in our homerooms, the principal and other teachers were reading our previous forms in the audi so we basically had to wait and wait and wait and wait in our homerooms until they were done. when we wanted to go to the toilet, we had to be ESCORTED by a teacher to the toilet. it was so serious that the toilet we used were made out of bounds to other students so that we werent in contact at all with the OUTSIDE WORLD...LITERALLY... WE COULDNT EVEN GO TO THE CANTEEN FOR BREAK!!! argh... they bought kaya bread for us and crysanthemum tea (packet) for us to eat in class... this is the first and ever time we can eat in class but it was not a good thing to be allowed to do so...
anyway, after being imprisoned for a few hours, we had to go back to the audi AGAIN!!! and mrs loke talked to us again AND this time, it was bad, some people were called to stay back from each class to talk to the teachers and some of them were with the teachers for a VERY VERY LONG TIME like for the whole morning and the whole afternoon and their parents were even called to the school... this thing really evolved (maybe EXPLODED) into a BIG BIG THING but i'm just glad it's over and that the people in my class are really fine =) i think my class had the least cases, maybe, i dunno... oh well..
darn i cant go for ballet today, have to go for health checkup and then got dental appointment after that, sigh, today is hospital day... haha it makes me sound like a really sick patient... oh well... alright now i got to pay attention to physics class before i get so lost i dunno what's going on again... haha =) yay i finally blogged, i'm happy!!! i shall do the stabbing thing another day, i think it's fun =)
7:57 PM
danced' vibrant
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
gosh... life is so difficult to live... my group havent even finished our lang arts play, havent practiced, havent confirmed props and the roles and our dramatisation is like next tuesday.... so we got to chiong like crazy during the weekend so yea, i hope we can get it done and make it good too... argh...
anyway, i had ballet yesterday and ms pang came late again so we basically did what we wanted to la and it was quite fun and i'm seriously deproving (is there such a word?) even though i have been going for ballet almost every single day... sigh... my pirouettes and allegro and practically every single section i feel i'm deproving in it... i feel so so... i dunno la but it's like i'm 2 months away from the this major examination and i'm DEPROVING!!! i'm really starting to panic already la... i really have to get EVERYTHING RIGHT by like next month so that i can drill and everything or else it'll be too late... I HOPE IT WONT BE TOO LATE... sigh... alright now i got to go for lesson now... shall blog again soon, maybe later in the day.... oh well... and then i shall feel remorseful about my deproving ballet skills....argh...
4:39 PM
danced' vibrant
Sunday, July 09, 2006
sigh... there're so many things in this world... and friends are one of the most important yet they are also the ones who you can either lean on, or fall on... this really makes me sad because i realised, after having 2 incidents happening in my life, that you may think you know someone so well... even for 2/3s of your life, but in fact, you dont... what you have always known was just another side of the person and yet you have trusted the person so much, trusted them as such close friends and in the end, they just arent who you think they are.... i really wonder sometimes, how long it takes for anyone to get to REALLY KNOW A FRIEND... does it really have to take a whole lifetime? i really dunno...
these 2 incidents, i do not want to specify but it has made me realised how important true friends are and it has showed me who are my true friends... sometimes it might not occur to you but your closest and truest friends might have been beside you all along and you did not know... sometimes, when you finally realise it, it's already too late... but i thank the Lord for letting me realise who my true friends are and for telling me that i should really treasure them for all they have done for me... everything we've been through together, be it good or bad, shows how true and how deep a friendship can be... i guess sometimes, you just cant REALLY know a person, can you?
In a friendship, i realised that being able to talk to each other, heart to heart, is the most important thing... if you cant do that, it's going to be difficult to be true friends in future. everybody has a first time at having a heart to heart talk with a friend, or even just confessing, apologising or whatever but as long as you can talk to that friend from the bottom of your heart, i think this friendship is real. I realised it and i know there's to much more having a real friendship but it always takes time...
I thank God for letting me have such great friends, especially those in my ballet class... dedicating this to kyra and daphne: i think you guys are the greatest friends i've ever had and i really thank God for you guys...i thank Him for everything we've been through and the times we spent together (: you guys are really the BEST!!! =) THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!!! i hope we'll continue to be great friends until who knows when (:
this song from high school musical is so nice and just has so much meaning in it... and i think it kinda suits this post so i just decided to share the lyrics (: enjoy (:
it's funny when you find yourself
looking from the outside
i'm standing here but all i want
is to be over there
why did i let myself believe
miracles could happen
cause now i have to pretend
that i dun really care
i thought you were my fairytale
a dream when i'm not sleeping
a wish upon a star
that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
when there was me and you
i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
and when you smiled
you made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's
once upon a song
now i know your not a fairytale
and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star
just don't come true
cause now even i can tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
because i liked the view
when there was me and you
i cant believe that
i could be so blind
it's like you were floating
while i was falling
and i didn't mind
cause i liked the view
i thought you felt it too
when there was me and you...
6:06 AM
danced' vibrant
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
gosh this is so frustrating... 3 tests in a day... seriously it's like attempted murder la... geog history and bio... all got to memorise like siao... i seriously hope that i write down the correct stuff for each subject tests cos if i dun, i am so screwed!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!
oh anyway, one thing that made me happy is ballet yesterday!!! it was really fun yesterday and for once i really got to stretch and i feel really happy about it (: we did barre and some centre stuff and we did the dance and my pirouettes are lousy but i hope i make it through my examination la.... anyway, that was not the fun part la, the fun part was actually daph leading us in floor barre... it was really fun and i really got to stretch even though i couldnt do the grand battement to the back on the floor but yea it was really fun and i'm really close to doing my left split already and i'm really happy... yesterday i tried it and i was like maybe 2 cm off the ground so yea.... i feel a sense of accomplishment (: yay!!!
oh but yesterday my parents were really really pissed off with my bro cos he's going for this test thing to go for NS next year and he has to bring alot of documents there but he did not prepare a single thing until last night and everything needed photocopying and at 9m at night, who would be willing to go out and photocopy stuff yea so in the end, my bro had to use the scanner and print and everything and my dad was shouting at him, my mum was shouting at him and he was still happily singing away in his room... so yea it made my parents really pissed with him la....
oh and i really hope i can go for the sleepover at slow's house on sunday... i bet it's going to be fun (: yay!!! and i'm going to get my IC today after school and i hope my picture will turn out nice.. okay gtg to pee with that shiao and then we're going to do a summary on everything together... i seriously hope i dun mess up.... argh...
6:07 PM
danced' vibrant
Monday, July 03, 2006
yay i went to queensway today and i'm happy cos i managed to buy my shoebag and also my fbts (: AND i studied pretty much at slow's house so that was good and i felt like i accomplished something today... well now, i'm kinda left with a little of bio and everything of geog which is still alot but i'll try my best to get it done asap cos i want to make my life easy even though it's already full of suffering but yea... darn i feel like the only subject that i learnt something is history... and that is NOT GOOD cos that means that i have to like restudying everything after i go through my work once and that makes me feel that my life is not going to be better and it makes me feel depressed and DEPRAVED OF A LIFE so i shall stop this nonsense now and not talk about studying cos i'm going to do it later and right now i just want to blog in peace... oh well.. anyway i hope i can get an excuse from ms lee tmr or something so that i dun have to go for ms wee's technique classes on tuesdays cos i wanna go for ballet... i seriously need to train la.... argh, exam's in september and it's so rush... i seriously hope i do well for my inters cos if i dun, i'll just kill myself... it's one of the most important examinations in ballet and if i flunk this... argh... i dun even want to think about it... i hope i can get a distinction for inter unlike my inter found which was so close to getting my distinction but i just had to miss it by that little bit... argh... and i hope my exam is NOT ON THE FIRST DAY like last year... argh... horrible... you're basically the first to experience everything and to see the examiner and to see if she's nice or evil or something... okay right now... time's up gtg... at least i managed to blog a little before i go mugging again... and later during my break, i'm gonna so blog on my livejournal... yay (:
3:34 AM
danced' vibrant
